{"id":727,"date":"2023-09-13T20:29:09","date_gmt":"2023-09-13T20:29:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.championforest.org\/articles\/?p=727"},"modified":"2024-05-23T15:14:27","modified_gmt":"2024-05-23T15:14:27","slug":"5-rules-for-the-family-table","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.championforest.org\/articles\/2023\/09\/13\/5-rules-for-the-family-table\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Rules for the Family Table"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you want your children to smile when they think of meal time? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of our grown children recently said, \u201cI loved dinner at our house. We were either laughing, playing, crying, or yelling. No matter what, we were all there, and we felt loved and secure because we were together around the table.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foster Trust<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Meal time is foundational in the life of a child. When kids sit at a table daily with adults and siblings who love them, look them in the eyes, and share life\u2019s ups and downs, they gain a sense of belonging, trust, and security. The table becomes a refuge where self-confidence and warm family relationships grow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imagine a child sitting at a table dips a piece of chicken in a blob of ketchup and says, \u201cMy friend was mean to me today.\u201d The child has transparently put his heart on the table. He is testing the water to see if the table is a safe place. Wise parents respond by asking questions like, \u201cWhat happened?\u201d or \u201cWhat did your friend say that upset you?\u201d Questions like these invite children to share their honest thoughts and emotions and provide time to process or draw conclusions in a safe environment. Parents who listen well without interrupting allow their children to unscramble feelings and make logical conclusions and choices. The table becomes a place of trust and security where you can solve life\u2019s problems together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strengthen Family Bonds<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The response of a parent or sibling at the table can also strengthen family bonds and help a child grow. For example, a sibling may say, \u201cWere you mean to them? Sometimes, you are mean to me, and I don\u2019t like it.\u201d The child may reply, \u201cI\u2019m not mean to you.\u201d The older sibling may counter, \u201cYes, you are. You wouldn\u2019t stop hitting me yesterday.\u201d In this situation, the child is invited to reflect upon their potential weaknesses and to consider how they interact with others. Another sibling may respond in the same situation: “He shouldn\u2019t be mean to you. I\u2019ll go beat him up. You want me to beat him up for you?\u201d Imagine how a child feels when a brother or sister is ready to go to battle in their honor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clever parents can step into these conversations, push pause, and follow up with helpful open-ended questions. For example, \u201cAre there ways your friend might have thought you were mean?\u201d or \u201cIs there anything you regret saying to your friend?\u201d The family dinner table is a secure environment to solve problems surrounded by the individuals who love your child the most\u2014their family. It is a place where families get real\u2014real love and real feedback. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Table Rules<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You may think, \u201cThis sounds nice, but our table does not look like this.\u201d Some days, it will, and some days, it won\u2019t. People come to the table tired, hurt, angry, hungry, silly, and more. When you bring all these emotions and more to the table, you often end up with a hot mess. That\u2019s okay! Even when it\u2019s ugly, keep coming to the table. You will not regret showing up for and with your family. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are 5 simple rules to help you establish a regular rhythm as a family at the table:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. No technology at the table.<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Turn the TV off. No phones, iPads, or earbuds are allowed at the table. This allows each person to engage and participate without distractions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Everyone joins.<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

There are no exceptions. Each person is required to be at mealtime. There will be rare occasions when someone must miss out on the fun but prioritize mealtime for everyone.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Go easy on etiquette.<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Family mealtime doesn\u2019t need to be a stressful time where we worry about talking with food in our mouths or elbows on the table. Instead, invite each person to be themselves. Of course, feet must stay on the floor, and being disrespectful is unacceptable, but allow laughter and silliness to spearhead your time together.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Lead the conversation.<\/h5>\n\n\n\n