If I\u2019ve learned anything from working with Gen Alpha, it\u2019s what everyone seemingly already knows: they love their screens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
According to Common Sense Media, \u201c53% of kids in the U.S. today have a smartphone by the age of 11.\u201d Additionally, \u201cOn average, children ages 8-12 spend 4-6 hours a day watching or using screens, while teens spend up to 9 hours.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Catchy phrases have been coined, and statistics laid out, raising concern about Gen Z and Gen Alpha\u2019s relationship with screens. Should kids be allowed screen time? Does too much screen time hinder cognitive development? How can we prevent a child\u2019s exposure to pornography?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Parents are not exempt from the conversation. The allure of screens is just as prevalent for parents as it is for kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A Pew study finds that \u201calmost half of teenagers think their parents get distracted by their phones.\u201d In every way, misuse and overuse of screens is not just a children\u2019s or teens’ issue\u2014it\u2019s a family issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The home, then, is our starting place. Here, more than anywhere else, parents can interrupt negative trends and inspire lasting change in their children\u2019s lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In 1 Corinthians 10:23, Paul writes, \u201cAll things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While Paul is not referring to technology here, he is warning the church against a misuse of Christian liberty. The liberty God grants us in Christ has limits. We can\u2019t justify sin on the grounds of \u201cChristian liberty.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Similarly, Galatians 5:13 says, \u201cFor you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Technology can be a good thing\u2014a gift from God, even. As recipients of God\u2019s common grace, we are free to experiment with, utilize, create, and work with technology. Even still, we need to acknowledge the limits of our freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unlimited freedom in the home when it comes to screens leads to dangerous territory. There\u2019s no sugarcoating it. It is the very playing field where the Enemy can subtly disconnect, distract, and destroy us\u2014and our families.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In The Tech-Wise Family<\/em>, Andy Crouch writes, \u201c…Figuring out the proper place for technology in our particular family and stage of life requires discernment rather than a simple formula\u201d (Crouch, p. 18).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Christ\u2014not technology\u2014is Lord of the Christian home. He is the head and heart of the household. He sets the home apart as sacred, infusing it with His beauty, joy, unity, and peace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you took an honest, impartial look at your heart and home, who would it reveal as your master\u2014Christ or your screens?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I challenge you to be prayerful about the place of technology in your home. It makes for a futile master, an unreliable friend, and a counterfeit fix for your\u2014and your family\u2019s\u2014ache for connection. But it is a useful tool, nonetheless. With creativity and grace, you can take control of the screens in your home instead of letting them control your home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To help you get started, here are eight ways to take control of the screens in your home:<\/p>\n\n\n\n With today\u2019s hectic family schedules, shared dinners around the table have become a rarity. This isn\u2019t about pressuring or guilt-tripping you into ensuring a family dinner every night. Maybe that\u2019s the goal eventually, but for now, pick one night. Ask open-ended questions, be present, and listen. Soon, it\u2019ll be something everyone looks forward to, and you\u2014and your kids\u2014will miss these meals together when they\u2019re out of the house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If family dinners are new to your household, here are five rules for the family table<\/a> to help you get started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Crouch recommends practicing a regular tech sabbath. Can you pick one day out of the week or month to give up screens with the intent to rest\u2014spiritually, emotionally, and physically? It\u2019s a great habit to instill in young children, one they can carry into adulthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If taking screens away from your kids leads to the immediate response, \u201cI\u2019m bored,\u201d<\/em> you might feel the need to swoop in and save the day with some form of entertainment. Instead, let them be bored. Let them build forts in the living room or slide down the stairs in sleeping bags. Let them put on silly theatrical skits. Boredom leads kids to create rather than consume. It can be a life-giving rhythm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Studies show that walking outside in nature for 30 minutes a day can boost creativity by up to 60%, increase blood flow to the brain, and enhance cognitive function. Walk in your neighborhood or visit a local park or nature trail. Exploring nature with your kids is a worthwhile way to spend time, especially on a \u201ctech sabbath.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Crouch suggests considering what\u2019s at the center of the main room in your house. Does that object foster connection, creativity, and love for God and others? If it\u2019s a TV, could it be moved to another side of the room, with something like a piano or bookshelf taking its place?<\/p>\n\n\n\n This idea may not work for your family\u2019s stage of life right now, and that\u2019s okay. We can at least appreciate his gentle challenge to set the precedent, even spatially, for creativity and connection in the home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Overconsumption of screens breeds self-absorption. Make service a core value woven into your family\u2019s daily life. Encourage acts of service within the home and outside of it. Serving outside the home strengthens a child\u2019s compassion, empathy, and ability to communicate. It challenges them to step into someone else\u2019s shoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you desire compassionate kids in a me-centered culture, serve together. Consider volunteering at the CMC<\/a> or with one of Champion Forest\u2019s local ministry partners<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kids today are born into the digital world and look to adults for guidance on how to navigate it responsibly. Change starts in your home, and it starts with you. If you want your kids to set boundaries for themselves, learn to set good boundaries for yourself. If your kids see you practicing a tech sabbath or reading in the evenings instead of scrolling, they will learn to develop similar healthy habits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can\u2019t implement all of these suggestions in one day, one week, or even one month\u2014and no one expects you to. My encouragement is to pick one of these seven practices to focus on in 2025. Steadily and prayerfully, incorporate it into your home life and family culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Parents, interrupt the trends. Defy the statistics. Put technology in its rightful place and keep Christ as Lord of your home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Start small. Start today. Start in your home. Most of all, start in God\u2019s presence, for it is He who \u201cworks in you (and your family), both to will and to work for His good pleasure\u201d<\/em> (Philippians 2:13).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Parents, interrupt the trends. Defy the statistics. Put technology in its rightful place and keep Christ as Lord of your home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":2107,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"\n \u201cMarriage is the best!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n That is a statement we seldom hear from couples married for more than a couple of years. Yet, our twenty-three-year marriage has been an incredible journey. Our marriage isn\u2019t perfect, but it has been well worth the effort. Even though we are both selfish, sinful people who continually need forgiveness from God and one another, we choose to put in the work required to experience the joy God intends marriage to bring. Marital joy comes when we follow God\u2019s plan for the tremendous institution of marriage. Even in a culture where marriage is under attack, we are convinced biblical marriage should be an enjoyable experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Through the years, we have had the unique opportunity to counsel married and unmarried couples. Every couple is different, but as we have met with couples and learned from their experiences, we have discovered three universal principles that set flourishing marriages apart. We call these the \u201c3 C\u2019s.\u201d When couples focus on these three areas, they will create a solid foundation to build their relationship. Most biblical marriage elements (i.e., humility, love, conflict resolution, etc.) fall within these three \u201cC\u2019s.\u201d As you reflect on these three \u201cC\u2019s,\u201d we encourage you to consider how God wants to change or develop you into the spouse God desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To fulfill God\u2019s purpose for marriage, Christ must be the established foundation. Francis Chan writes, \u201cWe all must prioritize our eternal relationship with our Creator above all things. When two people are right with Him, they will be right with each other.\u201d[1]<\/sup><\/a> The pre-marital counseling we received back in 1999 emphasized this truth. By God\u2019s grace, both of us were Christ followers when we married and had a healthy relationship with God. We were na\u00efve on many levels regarding our marriage, but we knew our relationship with Christ would be paramount. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Jesus commanded us to \u201c\u2026love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength\u201d (Mark 12:30, ESV). In essence, Jesus tells us to love him with everything we are and do. That includes our marriages. To accomplish that, we (Brett and Lori) have sought to prioritize Christ consistently in several ways. First, we have both focused on spending regular time with God by reading the Bible and praying. Second, we have always been part of a Bible study group. These groups helped us grow in our faith with other believers. Third, we served and worshipped together at our church. Lastly, we took advantage of opportunities to strengthen our marriage by attending conferences, reading books, and teaching others about marriage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Marriage is permanent (Mark 10:7-9, ESV). Jesus used a Greek word meaning \u201cto glue together\u201d when explaining the perpetuity of marriage. Because it is permanent, marriage should not be taken lightly. It requires a strong, lifelong commitment. In modern culture, too many couples give up early in their marriages. Studies reveal that about two-thirds of unhappy marriages will become happy if couples stay together for five years.[2]<\/sup><\/a>Many couples do not endure. They give up. When couples recite vows on their wedding day, they often think \u201cin the moment.\u201d Tim Keller writes, \u201cWedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love.\u201d[3]<\/sup><\/a> Your vows are a commitment to never quit on your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We have been married for almost twenty-four years and are thankful that we have never considered ending our marriage. We agree that our marriage is stronger than it was in January 2000. We have had difficult times in our marriage, both internal and external, but we committed to God and each other years ago that we would remain \u201cglued together\u201d as long as we are alive. God never gives up on us, so we strive to never give up on each other. We recommend every couple work toward being best friends with their spouse. That has emboldened our relationship immensely, strengthening our commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Communication<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In a marriage workbook we use when counseling pre-marital couples, the author states, \u201cCommunication is to love what blood is to life.\u201d[4]<\/sup><\/a> Developing stronger communication skills is essential in any marriage. This has proved true in our marriage. Many of the conflicts we have experienced in our marriage are, on some level, a result of poor communication. The Bible commands us to \u201c\u2026be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger\u201d (James 1:19, ESV). Many of us get that backward, however, and we are quick to speak, quick to anger, and slow to listen. From personal experience, we can tell you how detrimental that can be to a marriage relationship. Communication begins and ends with listening to your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fortunately, our communication with one another has grown immensely over the years. We still have moments when we fall back into sinful patterns of selfishness that hinder healthy communication, but marriage is a lifelong learning journey. We are a work in progress, and we press on, knowing the fight toward healthier communication is worth it. Married couples should be lovingly transparent and authentic with one another while, at the same time, becoming a better listener. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you desire a healthy and happy marriage, you must be willing to work hard. For us, the work is reaping immense benefits. We firmly believe if you and your spouse prioritize the three \u201cC\u2019s,\u201d you will be well on your way to building a marriage that honors God. We pray that your marriage will become all that Christ desires it to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n [1]<\/sup><\/a> Francis Chan and Lisa Chan, You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity<\/em> (Claire Love Publishing, 2014), 20.<\/p>\n\n\n\n [2]<\/sup><\/a> Linda White, et al, Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages <\/em>(American Values Institute, 2002). <\/p>\n\n\n\n1. Device-Free Meals<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
2. Tech Sabbath<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
3. Let Kids Be Bored<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
4. Nature Outings<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
5. Reconsider What\u2019s at the Center of Your Home<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
6. Serve Together<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
7. Model Healthy Habits<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
8. Change Starts in Your Home<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Christ<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Commitment<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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