{"id":2098,"date":"2025-02-18T22:26:39","date_gmt":"2025-02-18T22:26:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.championforest.org\/articles\/?p=2098"},"modified":"2025-02-18T22:26:43","modified_gmt":"2025-02-18T22:26:43","slug":"two-godly-principles-for-a-strong-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.championforest.org\/articles\/2025\/02\/18\/two-godly-principles-for-a-strong-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Godly Principles for a Strong Marriage\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When my daughters were younger, I remember taking them to see the live-action\u00a0Cinderella<\/em>. This story has always been my favorite fairy tale. Don\u2019t we all love a rags-to-riches story? One where the main character has every reason to be discouraged and bitter but instead remains positive and kind, even to those who mistreat them. This theme is reiterated several times in the movie and is first spoken to a young Cinderella by her mother:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have to tell you a secret that will see you through all the trials that life can offer. Have courage and be kind.\u201d\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For our marriages to become more godly in today\u2019s culture, Christian husbands and wives must also\u00a0have courage and be kind<\/em>. But what does this look like within marriage?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have Courage<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

First, let\u2019s discuss courage. The Bible says,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”<\/em> \u2014 Joshua 1:9<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In context, God was encouraging Joshua as he followed His guidance, reminding him that He would always be with him. Similarly, as we seek to build a marriage that honors God, we can trust that He will be with us.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One definition of courage is \u201cstrength in the face of pain or grief.\u201d Every marriage will face challenges that require courageous endurance. Couples must persist through hardships\u2014whether they stem from unforeseen circumstances, moral failures, or selfishness. The covenant we made with our spouse calls for unwavering commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christian marriage is a lifelong commitment, no matter what comes our way. Its primary purpose is to\u00a0mirror God\u2019s image<\/em> (Gen. 1:27), which is why Satan works tirelessly to destroy it. Courage means understanding that it is God\u2019s will for our marriage to remain intact and refusing to give up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflect on these verses and what they say about courage in marriage: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joshua 24:15<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014\u00a0\u201cAs for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0We must fully commit to our marriage, even when the world promotes different values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Galatians 6:9<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014\u00a0\u201cAnd let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.\u201d<\/em> Staying the course and working through difficulties is crucial. Trust in God\u2019s plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be Kind<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Secondly, kindness is essential in a godly marriage. Paul writes,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”<\/em>\u00a0\u2014\u00a0Ephesians 4:32<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since believers have received kindness from Christ, we must act with kindness to others, especially our spouse. Kindness is taking the initiative to show concern for the welfare of our spouse, no matter the costs. Genuine kindness reveals a selfless and compassionate heart without expecting anything in return. In other words, we constantly seek ways to be kind to our spouse because our love for them supersedes our love of self.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, in my years of teaching and ministering to couples, there has been no shortage of unkindness between spouses. Even couples that have been married for years have often been very unkind to one another. God desires us to have a marriage where we are always looking for opportunities to show kindness to our spouse. Be intentional. Be proactive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflect on these verses and what they say about kindness in marriage: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ephesians 4:29<\/strong> \u2014 \u201cLet no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.\u201d Your words matter. Find ways to give encouragement and gratitude to your spouse consistently.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1 Corinthians 10:24<\/strong> \u2014 \u201cLet no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.\u201d Your spouse is much more than just a neighbor. Look for ways to serve your spouse by your actions. Do the unexpected.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Colossians 3:13<\/strong> \u2014 \u201cAs the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.\u201d Be a spouse who forgives quickly and does not hold grudges.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Courage and kindness are two vital parts of pursuing a godly marriage. My wife, Lori, and I continually strive to grow in these areas. Great marriages do not happen by accident. Work at it because it is worth it. Make the commitment now and ask God to help you \u201chave courage and be kind\u201d in your marriage.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For our marriages to become more godly in our current culture, Christian husbands and wives must also \u201chave courage and be kind.\u201d What does this look like in the institution of marriage?\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":2100,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"\n

\u201cMarriage is the best!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is a statement we seldom hear from couples married for more than a couple of years. Yet, our twenty-three-year marriage has been an incredible journey. Our marriage isn\u2019t perfect, but it has been well worth the effort. Even though we are both selfish, sinful people who continually need forgiveness from God and one another, we choose to put in the work required to experience the joy God intends marriage to bring. Marital joy comes when we follow God\u2019s plan for the tremendous institution of marriage. Even in a culture where marriage is under attack, we are convinced biblical marriage should be an enjoyable experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through the years, we have had the unique opportunity to counsel married and unmarried couples. Every couple is different, but as we have met with couples and learned from their experiences, we have discovered three universal principles that set flourishing marriages apart. We call these the \u201c3 C\u2019s.\u201d When couples focus on these three areas, they will create a solid foundation to build their relationship. Most biblical marriage elements (i.e., humility, love, conflict resolution, etc.) fall within these three \u201cC\u2019s.\u201d As you reflect on these three \u201cC\u2019s,\u201d we encourage you to consider how God wants to change or develop you into the spouse God desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christ<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

            To fulfill God\u2019s purpose for marriage, Christ must be the established foundation. Francis Chan writes, \u201cWe all must prioritize our eternal relationship with our Creator above all things. When two people are right with Him, they will be right with each other.\u201d[1]<\/sup><\/a>  The pre-marital counseling we received back in 1999 emphasized this truth. By God\u2019s grace, both of us were Christ followers when we married and had a healthy relationship with God. We were na\u00efve on many levels regarding our marriage, but we knew our relationship with Christ would be paramount. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Jesus commanded us to \u201c\u2026love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength\u201d (Mark 12:30, ESV). In essence, Jesus tells us to love him with everything we are and do. That includes our marriages. To accomplish that, we (Brett and Lori) have sought to prioritize Christ consistently in several ways. First, we have both focused on spending regular time with God by reading the Bible and praying. Second, we have always been part of a Bible study group. These groups helped us grow in our faith with other believers. Third, we served and worshipped together at our church. Lastly, we took advantage of opportunities to strengthen our marriage by attending conferences, reading books, and teaching others about marriage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Commitment<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

            Marriage is permanent (Mark 10:7-9, ESV). Jesus used a Greek word meaning \u201cto glue together\u201d when explaining the perpetuity of marriage. Because it is permanent, marriage should not be taken lightly. It requires a strong, lifelong commitment. In modern culture, too many couples give up early in their marriages. Studies reveal that about two-thirds of unhappy marriages will become happy if couples stay together for five years.[2]<\/sup><\/a>Many couples do not endure. They give up. When couples recite vows on their wedding day, they often think \u201cin the moment.\u201d Tim Keller writes, \u201cWedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love.\u201d[3]<\/sup><\/a>  Your vows are a commitment to never quit on your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            We have been married for almost twenty-four years and are thankful that we have never considered ending our marriage. We agree that our marriage is stronger than it was in January 2000. We have had difficult times in our marriage, both internal and external, but we committed to God and each other years ago that we would remain \u201cglued together\u201d as long as we are alive. God never gives up on us, so we strive to never give up on each other. We recommend every couple work toward being best friends with their spouse. That has emboldened our relationship immensely, strengthening our commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Communication<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

            In a marriage workbook we use when counseling pre-marital couples, the author states, \u201cCommunication is to love what blood is to life.\u201d[4]<\/sup><\/a> Developing stronger communication skills is essential in any marriage. This has proved true in our marriage. Many of the conflicts we have experienced in our marriage are, on some level, a result of poor communication. The Bible commands us to \u201c\u2026be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger\u201d (James 1:19, ESV). Many of us get that backward, however, and we are quick to speak, quick to anger, and slow to listen. From personal experience, we can tell you how detrimental that can be to a marriage relationship. Communication begins and ends with listening to your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            Fortunately, our communication with one another has grown immensely over the years. We still have moments when we fall back into sinful patterns of selfishness that hinder healthy communication, but marriage is a lifelong learning journey. We are a work in progress, and we press on, knowing the fight toward healthier communication is worth it. Married couples should be lovingly transparent and authentic with one another while, at the same time, becoming a better listener. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

            If you desire a healthy and happy marriage, you must be willing to work hard. For us, the work is reaping immense benefits. We firmly believe if you and your spouse prioritize the three \u201cC\u2019s,\u201d you will be well on your way to building a marriage that honors God. We pray that your marriage will become all that Christ desires it to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

[1]<\/sup><\/a> Francis Chan and Lisa Chan, You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity<\/em> (Claire Love Publishing, 2014), 20.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[2]<\/sup><\/a> Linda White, et al, Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages <\/em>(American Values Institute, 2002).               <\/p>\n\n\n\n

[3]<\/sup><\/a> Timothy Keller and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God<\/em>, Reprint edition. (Penguin Books, 2013), 87.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

[4]<\/sup><\/a> H. Norman Wright and Wes Roberts, Before You Say \u201cI Do\": A Marriage Preparation Guide for Couples<\/em> (Harvest House Publishers, 2019), 59.<\/p>\n","_et_gb_content_width":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"[]"},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2098","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage-family","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"yoast_head":"\nTwo Godly Principles for a Strong Marriage\u00a0<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"For our marriages to become more godly in our current culture, Christian husbands and wives must \u201chave courage and be kind.\u201d\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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