{"id":2050,"date":"2025-01-15T22:39:00","date_gmt":"2025-01-15T22:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.championforest.org\/articles\/?p=2050"},"modified":"2025-01-16T03:12:16","modified_gmt":"2025-01-16T03:12:16","slug":"three-steps-that-lead-to-lasting-friendships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.championforest.org\/articles\/2025\/01\/15\/three-steps-that-lead-to-lasting-friendships\/","title":{"rendered":"Three Steps That Lead to Lasting Friendships\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Shared experiences over time create meaningful bonds that are difficult to replicate when relationships are new or young. I call them \u201cfriendships with history,\u201d or, to borrow a Hebrew term, friends we y\u0101da\u2019<\/em> or \u201cknow experientially.\u201d Y\u0101da\u2019 <\/em>describes the journey from head knowledge to heart knowledge, where information about <\/em>God becomes intimate knowledge of <\/em>God (see Psalm 46:20). We experience<\/em> his character, attributes, and heart in different circumstances and seasons, just like we do with friends over time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friendships Worth Treasuring<\/strong> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I treasure friends with history because, for many years, I had none. After high school, several significant moves and lifestyle changes reset my clock. When James and I moved to Magnolia in our early thirties, distance diminished the closeness with friends we made as newlyweds with an instant blended family. We started over, risked awkward conversations, and made uncomfortable first moves with neighbors and church friends.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For twenty years, we shared adventures, birthdays, holidays, and milestones as we raised our kids together through heartbreak, sickness, school decisions, injuries, miscarriages, infant and parent deaths, personal failures and deep soul work, prodigal kids, and conflict. These are our friends with history.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our more recent bonds have been formed with peers navigating the unfamiliar territory of adult children, empty nests, and expanding family trees. Our y\u0101da\u2019 <\/em>years are fewer with these new friends, but our hearts are bound to the Lord and each other as we anticipate the blessings, unknowns, and challenges of future seasons with aging parents, retirement, and beyond.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know your experience or the current state of your friendship slate, but if you\u2019ll allow me, I want to challenge you to embrace \u201cThree steps that Lead to Lasting Friendships.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Three Steps That Lead to Lasting Friendships<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Practice the hospitality of a generous heart.<\/em>\u00a0<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Lasting friendships grow in open hearts that welcome strangers with kindness (see Romans 12:13 and Job 6:14). It\u2019s about inviting others into your life\u2014imperfections, messiness, and all\u2014to share life together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Y\u0101da friendships form and grow face-to-face (see Exodus 33:11), so we need to ma<\/i>ke room in our lives, schedules, and living spaces for them.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would also say hospitable hearts expand established circles. One of my first y\u0101da\u2019 <\/em>friends in Magnolia was a neighbor who invited me into her circle of friends with history. Because of their hospitable hearts, they\u2019ve become some of my most cherished friends in history.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do hard things.<\/em>\u00a0<\/h5>\n\n\n\n

Every friendship with history starts fresh; someone has to risk the first move. Make awkward eye contact. Smile. Stumble through clumsy conversations to find common ground. Linger after group gatherings officially end. I\u2019ve forced myself to stand around like a sore thumb after neighborhood gatherings, church events, and Bible studies. Keep showing up. Stay present. Brush off discouraging misfires and backfires. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Risk authenticity and trust. Like Jesus, we can trust our lives and hearts to our Father in Heaven as we allow ourselves to know and be known, even though it makes us vulnerable to hurt and betrayal (see Matthew 26:50 ESV).\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make grace your starting point, especially when sin introduces hardship into the friendship. It will, on both sides. Work through conflict and forgive.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Expect little from people and exceeding abundance from God. Love others where they are as God works in them and you. Tolerate weaknesses and imbalances, even when you feel like you always initiate. If it’s a fruitful friendship you value, humbly persevere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be open to friends of all ages. My most intimate friend, who knows the most unfiltered me, is in her eighties, while the bulk of the friends James and I live in community with as a couple are in their thirties with littles.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Embrace unlikely prospects. Jesus was a friend of sinners and his culture\u2019s most despised (see Matthew 11:19). In time, the one you struggle to connect with may become a beloved companion.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadly, friends now might not be friends forever. People, goals, choices, circumstances, and gratifications change. God may distance us to draw us closer, prosper his plans, or create space for different friends. I grieved and trusted God through an extensive period of loss and restoration when circumstances tore a yet irreplaceable friendship from my life. I am thankful because I y\u0101da\u2019d <\/em>the friendship of Christ and learned to follow his lead to identify and invest in friendships he favors for me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be committed and resourceful.<\/em> <\/h5>\n\n\n\n

As long as a friend is a friend, stand with, for, and defend them (see Psalm 15:3). Give counsel that makes the heart glad (see Proverbs 27:6, 27:9, and Ephesians 4:15). Love at all times, even in adversity, and stick close (see Proverbs 17:17 and 18:24).\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When life stages and children\u2019s ages limit your in-person capacity, get creative. Share activities, rides, and errands. Tackle taunting projects together. Leverage technology. I \u201csee\u201d one friend all the time through video chat. Make plans early or late. I occasionally sacrifice sleep or morning quiet to walk with a friend or sip coffee on my front porch swing. Recently, I joined a group of young moms who gather every other Monday at 7:30 p.m. for Bible study and accountability. The frequency is manageable, and the start time accommodates family dinners and kids\u2019 bedtimes.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carve out hours when you can, then maximize moments in between. God can multiply minutes through text, phone, apps, church, and around other activities. I had an unexpected ten minutes to catch up with a dear friend when she \u201crandomly\u201d parked in the curbside space beside me. The intimacy and delight of that encounter lingered for weeks.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today\u2019s Experience, Tomorrow\u2019s History<\/strong> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Today\u2019s new connection could become tomorrow\u2019s friend with history. My prayer is that seeds of friendship take root in hearts willing to cultivate them with care and intentionality.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shared experiences over time create meaningful bonds that are difficult to replicate when relationships are new or young. I call them \u201cfriendships with history,\u201d or, to borrow a Hebrew term, friends we y\u0101da\u2019 or \u201cknow experientially.\u201d Y\u0101da\u2019 describes the journey from head knowledge to heart knowledge, where information about God becomes intimate knowledge of God (see Psalm 46:20).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":2058,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"\n

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember the first time I stood up to teach the Bible to a group of women in my local church. I was terrified. Yes, I studied the passage diligently and spent hours preparing pages of notes, but I wasn\u2019t sure if my preparation was effective. Is my teaching structured well? Will the women be interested or learn anything new? Have I interpreted this passage correctly?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many women who are asked to teach a Sunday School class, speak at a Bible study, or lead a small group experience similar fears. They often have little or no training specific to teaching Scripture and feel unequipped and insecure in their preparation. Even so, the abundance of resources available on the subject of teaching Scripture can be paralyzing for a new Bible teacher.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why we need books like Empowered and Equipped: Bible Exposition for Women Who Teach the Scriptures<\/em><\/a>. Julia Higgins, assistant professor of ministry to women at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, seeks to provide women with the tools they need to faithfully and effectively teach the Word of God to other women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Empowered and Equipped: Biblical Exposition for Women Who Teach the Scriptures <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJesus commissioned disciples to teach the nations, and women of the church must take his call seriously.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men and women alike are given the spiritual gift of teaching, yet few resources are designed specifically for women who exposit the Scriptures. In Empowered and Equipped<\/em>, Julia Higgins steers women through the steps needed to faithfully interpret, apply, and teach a passage of Scripture. By examining both the principles and practices of teaching of Bible exposition, Higgins seeks to prepare women in the local church to make and mold disciples.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

B&H Academic. 224 pp. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Should Women Teach the Bible?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

First we must ask, Is a book that encourages and equips women to teach Scripture necessary or even appropriate? There\u2019s much discussion today about whether the Bible permits women to teach at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In an effort to submit to Scripture\u2019s teaching, many have unfortunately moved beyond what God\u2019s Word prescribes to impose unbiblical restrictions on women. To argue that women shouldn\u2019t teach Scripture in any formal setting misunderstands God\u2019s design for discipleship. Higgins argues that all followers of Christ, including women, are included in the Great Commission and its call to teach other disciples everything Christ commanded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Furthermore, as Higgins explains, \u201cSome may conflate the spiritual gift of teaching with the office of pastor\/elder and draw a false conclusion that only men are to exercise the gift of teaching. While qualified men are responsible to teach and oversee the local church, that does not negate the fact that both men and women are given the spiritual gift of teaching.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

All followers of Christ, including women, are included in the Great Commission and its call to teach other disciples everything Christ commanded.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Spiritual gifts, including the gift of teaching, are given for the common good (1 Cor. 12:7<\/a>) and for building up the church (1 Cor. 14:12<\/a>). It follows that women are not only permitted to teach in appropriate settings but are needed for the growth and maturity of the body of Christ. This pattern is exemplified in the women in Scripture who are called to teach and commended for their teaching ministries, many of which Higgins references.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In light of the biblical call for women to teach, Higgins writes,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The end of the matter is this: women should be given a context where they can teach the Word in the local church. Why? Because Christ\u2019s church will grow and others will be discipled in the faith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her book, therefore, provides \u201ca pathway for women to exercise teaching gifts in the local church,\u201d and specifically focuses on training women to teach women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helpful Foundation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Higgins provides an accessible yet substantial foundation for teaching Scripture. She incorporates principles and strategies from some of the most highly respected Bible teachers of our day, giving readers a well-rounded introduction to teaching Scripture without information overload.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Higgins has a high view of God\u2019s Word and a Christ-centered approach that highlights the overarching storyline of the Bible. Readers will gain essential tools for expository teaching, learning to base the central teaching focus, supporting points, and application on the main point and structure of the text itself. Higgins even encourages this kind of verse-by-verse teaching for topical messages, so that the teacher is always communicating the text\u2019s intended purpose rather than taking passages out of context as proof texts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Empowered and Equipped<\/em> walks teachers through the process of creating a Bible exposition, from understanding the nature of Scripture all the way to writing an expositional outline. Higgins covers a wide range of content from theoretical to practical, including information on biblical genres, basic doctrinal issues, and hermeneutics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She spends a large portion of the book giving instruction on studying the Bible inductively, including specific strategies for observation, interpretation, generalization, and application and for how that study translates into instruction. The scope of the book makes it suitable for beginners\u2014although they may want to work through it more slowly\u2014as well as for those who have been studying and teaching Scripture for some time but are looking for a process to follow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While Empowered and Equipped<\/em> covers an impressive amount of ground in a surprisingly manageable page count, readers may leave with unanswered questions. For example, the book includes almost no discussion of incorporating meaningful illustrations or transitions. On other topics, such as the discussion of genre or the overview of theological doctrines, Higgins gives only brief introductions. Anything more, however, would make the book overwhelmingly dense, and readers can continue to explore these topics in more depth as they see fit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Empowered and Equipped to Teach God\u2019s Word<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The church needs gifted women who not only speak on a short list of \u201cfemale-friendly\u201d topics stereotypical of women\u2019s conferences or retreats but who teach the whole counsel of God for the good of the body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

The church needs gifted women who not only speak on a short list of \u2018female-friendly\u2019 topics but who teach the whole counsel of God for the good of the body.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Higgins appeals, \u201cThis call for women to be teachers of the Word arises from a place of care and concern for over half of the body, so that the church might grow in love for God and his Word, passing it along to others, so that they too might go and make disciples of all nations to the end that Christ\u2019s commands are observed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As this book makes its way into the hands of more and more women who treasure the Bible and long to see it elevated and proclaimed, I pray the church will be edified and God\u2019s glory made known. I pray the teachers it equips will grow in their love for Christ even as the women they teach develop new excitement for God\u2019s Word. I pray that instead of feeling insecure and unprepared, women will be empowered and equipped to teach the Scriptures.<\/p>\n","_et_gb_content_width":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"[]"},"categories":[29,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-life","category-women","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"yoast_head":"\nThree Steps That Lead to Lasting Friendships\u00a0<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do I build lasting friendships as an adult, and what do I do if I can't find them? 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