{"id":2034,"date":"2024-12-12T00:22:31","date_gmt":"2024-12-12T00:22:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.championforest.org\/articles\/?p=2034"},"modified":"2024-12-12T00:22:37","modified_gmt":"2024-12-12T00:22:37","slug":"how-to-conquer-holiday-chaos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.championforest.org\/articles\/2024\/12\/12\/how-to-conquer-holiday-chaos\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Conquer Holiday Chaos\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>We sing about jingle bells,\u00a0<em>Joy to the World<\/em>, and kisses under the mistletoe, but where\u2019s the carol for the frazzled young family that got run over, not by a reindeer, but by holiday expectations and the juggling act of family traditions? Holiday cheer fades when family wishes conflict with our priorities, gift expectations force unwanted spending, in-laws ignore efforts to leave and cleave, FOO (family of origin) traditions trump ours, and we still haven\u2019t recovered from last year\u2019s ragged race from house to house.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Where do we turn for help with boundaries? What does God say, and how do we understand and establish biblical boundaries?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em><strong>Are Boundaries Biblical?<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In the beginning, God ordered the formless void and stated our purpose to reflect his image in the world (see Genesis 1:2-26). Throughout scripture, his clearly defined limits, or boundaries, explain how to live his way, experience his goodness, and bless others (including the difficult ones) (see Genesis 12:2).\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When humans violate God\u2019s limits, it\u2019s called sin, and chaos ensues. The conundrum isn\u2019t to limit or not to limit, but how to observe his perimeters and hold them up to others. When we trust God and apply his word in ordinary, dysfunctional, disordered relationships or situations, our obedience restores order\u00a0<em>for us<\/em>\u00a0and reveals his character and truth to others.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While God permits trials and persecution to advance his kingdom, and he allows us to suffer for the gospel, he doesn\u2019t command us to offer ourselves as a target for another\u2019s abuse. If you or a loved one are in danger, get out. Get safe, get help, and stay safe.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em><strong>Where Do I Start?<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When you need a boundary, the biblical place to start is in God\u2019s Word as you examine your own heart, motives, priorities, and choices. These questions might help:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Whose limit has been violated, God\u2019s or my own personal preferences, and who overstepped, me or another person?\u00a0\u00a0<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>If it\u2019s me, I need to change. If it\u2019s the other person, I can stand firm in God\u2019s limits in a manner that exhibits his image to them (see no. 3).&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What has God already said about this person, relationship, or circumstance?\u00a0<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>God commands us to honor our parents, so no matter what, we must value and give weight to their needs (not necessarily wants). He limits work to six days. When faced with an expectation or request, we can know God prioritizes rest. God requires us to meet together with other believers for our benefit, so church and body-community shouldn\u2019t be the first commitment we sacrifice for order when we\u2019ve over-extended ourselves.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What attribute of God does the other person need to experience?\u00a0\u00a0<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>We imitate God\u2019s character when we treat others with the lovingkindness, longsuffering, and endless grace and mercy with which he treats us, not because we deserve it, but because he loves us. This is how we bear his image, even to those who harm, hate, persecute, mock, and generally complicate our lives and make gatherings less than desirable. Hard? Yes! Supernatural? Yes, that too. It will be the work of his Spirit in us as we, in faith, walk in his ways.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is your heart motive?\u00a0<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Allegiance to God\u2019s glory requires us to endure honest self-examination, uncomfortable conversations, and unpleasant situations. If I find my identity in being needed, wanted, and included, I may ignore limits to please people and avoid FOMO.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What are your limits?\u00a0\u00a0<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask yourself:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What parameters protect your life and heart from chaos?\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What exhausts you spiritually, emotionally, and physically?\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What limits sustain the energy, rest, and sleep you need?\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What are your time and financial constraints?\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Your answers can help you discern the boundaries&nbsp;<em>you<\/em>&nbsp;need (<em>not&nbsp;<\/em>what others need, because you are the only adult you can control. See No. 6 below.) As a young mom, I wanted to do it all and disregarded God\u2019s priorities and limits. Like a pressure cooker, I exploded on my kids. God broke my heart with my sin, and I don\u2019t struggle with rage anymore, but if I exceed God\u2019s limits, my fuse shortens, my attitude sours, and you\u2019re not likely to see God\u2019s image or character in me.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Do you feel responsible for someone else?\u00a0\u00a0<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>We are free to determine the location and duration of time spent with others, including parents and in-laws. With respect, we\u2019re&nbsp;<em>not<\/em>&nbsp;responsible for another person\u2019s expectations, opinions, or feelings about our God-honoring decisions. If we don\u2019t live with our parents or take money from them, we\u2019re no longer biblically bound to obey them, invite them to weigh in on our decisions, or give them explanations. However, loving, truthful communication can be a great way to honor God and them.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When you wish you could say yes but need to say no, is there a yes you can give?\u00a0\u00a0<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe your parents want you to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day in their home. You are well within God\u2019s boundaries to say, \u201cWe\u2019re going to spend Christmas day at home, but we\u2019d love to come for Christmas Eve, or we\u2019d love for you to join us after lunch Christmas day.\u201d It\u2019s their choice to take it, leave it, or suggest an alternative that honors your limit to be home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> If you\u2019re the parent or in-law and your kids\u2019 decisions disrupt longstanding traditions, may I empathetically encourage you to process your disappointment with a close friend, and then adjust your expectations and plans? We celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas on the eves. It was tough at first, but James and I developed new traditions that safeguard my heart from bitter disappointment over the loss of old ones.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Make your lists, check them twice, and pray for wisdom, clarity, and courage with the naughty and the nice. Trust God as you live within his limits for his glory, then expectantly watch as he brings \u201cpeace on the earth (and) goodwill to men from heaven\u2019s all-gracious King\u201d (lyrics from&nbsp;<em>It Came Upon a Midnight Clear<\/em>, but long before that, Luke 2:14).&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Where do we turn for help with holiday boundaries? What does God say, and how do we understand and establish biblical boundaries?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":2037,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>I remember the first time I stood up to teach the Bible to a group of women in my local church. I was terrified. Yes, I studied the passage diligently and spent hours preparing pages of notes, but I wasn\u2019t sure if my preparation was effective.&nbsp;<em>Is my teaching structured well? Will the women be interested or learn anything new? Have I interpreted this passage correctly?<\/em><\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Many women who are asked to teach a Sunday School class, speak at a Bible study, or lead a small group experience similar fears. They often have little or no training specific to teaching Scripture and feel unequipped and insecure in their preparation. Even so, the abundance of resources available on the subject of teaching Scripture can be paralyzing for a new Bible teacher.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>That\u2019s why we need books like&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Empowered-Equipped-Bible-Exposition-Scriptures\/dp\/1087763169\/?tag=thegospcoal-20\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Empowered and Equipped: Bible Exposition for Women Who Teach the Scriptures<\/em><\/a>. Julia Higgins, assistant professor of ministry to women at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, seeks to provide women with the tools they need to faithfully and effectively teach the Word of God to other women.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:image -->\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img src=\"https:\/\/media.thegospelcoalition.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/12102846\/A1L74YuwgQL.jpeg\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n<!-- \/wp:image -->\n\n<!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} -->\n<h3>Empowered and Equipped: Biblical Exposition for Women Who Teach the Scriptures&nbsp;<\/h3>\n<!-- \/wp:heading -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>\u201cJesus commissioned disciples to teach the nations, and women of the church must take his call seriously.\u201d<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Men and women alike are given the spiritual gift of teaching, yet few resources are designed specifically for women who exposit the Scriptures. In&nbsp;<em>Empowered and Equipped<\/em>, Julia Higgins steers women through the steps needed to faithfully interpret, apply, and teach a passage of Scripture. By examining both the principles and practices of teaching of Bible exposition, Higgins seeks to&nbsp;prepare women in the local church to make and mold disciples.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>B&amp;H Academic.&nbsp;224 pp.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} -->\n<h3>Should Women Teach the Bible?<\/h3>\n<!-- \/wp:heading -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>First we must ask, Is a book that encourages and equips women to teach Scripture necessary or even appropriate? There\u2019s much discussion today about whether the Bible permits women to teach at all.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>In an effort to submit to Scripture\u2019s teaching, many have unfortunately moved beyond what God\u2019s Word prescribes to impose unbiblical restrictions on women. To argue that women shouldn\u2019t teach Scripture in any formal setting misunderstands God\u2019s design for discipleship. Higgins argues that all followers of Christ, including women, are included in the Great Commission and its call to teach other disciples everything Christ commanded.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Furthermore, as Higgins explains, \u201cSome may conflate the spiritual gift of teaching with the office of pastor\/elder and draw a false conclusion that only men are to exercise the gift of teaching. While qualified men are responsible to teach and oversee the local church, that does not negate the fact that both men and women are given the spiritual gift of teaching.\u201d<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:quote -->\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>All followers of Christ, including women, are included in the Great Commission and its call to teach other disciples everything Christ commanded.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/blockquote>\n<!-- \/wp:quote -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Spiritual gifts, including the gift of teaching, are given for the common good (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.esv.org\/verses\/1%20Cor.%2012%3A7\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">1 Cor. 12:7<\/a>) and for building up the church (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.esv.org\/verses\/1%20Cor.%2014%3A12\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">1 Cor. 14:12<\/a>). It follows that women are not only permitted to teach in appropriate settings but are needed for the growth and maturity of the body of Christ. This pattern is exemplified in the women in Scripture who are called to teach and commended for their teaching ministries, many of which Higgins references.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>In light of the biblical call for women to teach, Higgins writes,<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>The end of the matter is this: women should be given a context where they can teach the Word in the local church. Why? Because Christ\u2019s church will grow and others will be discipled in the faith.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Her book, therefore, provides \u201ca pathway for women to exercise teaching gifts in the local church,\u201d and specifically focuses on training women to teach women.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} -->\n<h3>Helpful Foundation<\/h3>\n<!-- \/wp:heading -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Higgins provides an accessible yet substantial foundation for teaching Scripture. She incorporates principles and strategies from some of the most highly respected Bible teachers of our day, giving readers a well-rounded introduction to teaching Scripture without information overload.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Higgins has a high view of God\u2019s Word and a Christ-centered approach that highlights the overarching storyline of the Bible. Readers will gain essential tools for expository teaching, learning to base the central teaching focus, supporting points, and application on the main point and structure of the text itself. Higgins even encourages this kind of verse-by-verse teaching for topical messages, so that the teacher is always communicating the text\u2019s intended purpose rather than taking passages out of context as proof texts.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p><em>Empowered and Equipped<\/em>&nbsp;walks teachers through the process of creating a Bible exposition, from understanding the nature of Scripture all the way to writing an expositional outline. Higgins covers a wide range of content from theoretical to practical, including information on biblical genres, basic doctrinal issues, and hermeneutics.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>She spends a large portion of the book giving instruction on studying the Bible inductively, including specific strategies for observation, interpretation, generalization, and application and for how that study translates into instruction. The scope of the book makes it suitable for beginners\u2014although they may want to work through it more slowly\u2014as well as for those who have been studying and teaching Scripture for some time but are looking for a process to follow.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>While&nbsp;<em>Empowered and Equipped<\/em>&nbsp;covers an impressive amount of ground in a surprisingly manageable page count, readers may leave with unanswered questions. For example, the book includes almost no discussion of incorporating meaningful illustrations or transitions. On other topics, such as the discussion of genre or the overview of theological doctrines, Higgins gives only brief introductions. Anything more, however, would make the book overwhelmingly dense, and readers can continue to explore these topics in more depth as they see fit.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:heading {\"level\":3} -->\n<h3>Empowered and Equipped to Teach God\u2019s Word<\/h3>\n<!-- \/wp:heading -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>The church needs gifted women who not only speak on a short list of \u201cfemale-friendly\u201d topics stereotypical of women\u2019s conferences or retreats but who teach the whole counsel of God for the good of the body.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:quote -->\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>The church needs gifted women who not only speak on a short list of \u2018female-friendly\u2019 topics but who teach the whole counsel of God for the good of the body.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/blockquote>\n<!-- \/wp:quote -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Higgins appeals, \u201cThis call for women to be teachers of the Word arises from a place of care and concern for over half of the body, so that the church might grow in love for God and his Word, passing it along to others, so that they too might go and make disciples of all nations to the end that Christ\u2019s commands are observed.\u201d<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>As this book makes its way into the hands of more and more women who treasure the Bible and long to see it elevated and proclaimed, I pray the church will be edified and God\u2019s glory made known. I pray the teachers it equips will grow in their love for Christ even as the women they teach develop new excitement for God\u2019s Word. I pray that instead of feeling insecure and unprepared, women will be empowered and equipped to teach the Scriptures.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->","_et_gb_content_width":"","_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"[]"},"categories":[25,13],"tags":[38],"class_list":["post-2034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage-family","category-women","tag-holiday","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Conquer Holiday Chaos\u00a0<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Where do we turn for help with holiday boundaries? 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